By definition a paradox is:
‘ a statement that apparently contradicts itself and yet might be true’
The by line of the definition goes on to say that ‘most logical paradoxes are known to be invalid arguments but are still valuable in promoting critical thinking’.
Let’s consider this statement:
“My sleep is so disturbed by partner I am exhausted and stressed and as a result I’m short tempered and this causes us to fight, but I have to share a bed with them because it’s a close and intimate act that shows we are a couple“.
Can you see the paradox?
In case you can’t – let me break down the contradiction for you.
When folk are exhausted and stressed, they do not function or behave at their best. An obvious consequence of not being in the best mood is that relationships can suffer. So repeating an activity that makes you less able to function well in a relationship to prove that the relationship is good……????
Can you see the paradox now?
Loving the wisdom.
So how does a tired soul escape the paradox? Try a bit of separate sleeping.
Heading to a separate room does not have to be a death sentence, relationship-ending, world-altering decision. It just has to be a PRACTICAL and SENSIBLE decision that two people make together as part of ‘the things that make a relationship successful’ (I’m sure there a list of those somewhere – and being well rested is probably in the top 5).
I would wager A LOT of money that being honest with your partner would feature in the top 3 of the list.
So where’s the honesty in lying awake night after night to prove your love/devotion/commitment to another, while actually lying there silently seething because you can’t sleep?
To finish my paradoxical chat, the last part of the definition of a paradox is about the ‘value in promoting critical thinking’. Well OBVIOUSLY, that comes from the critical evaluation of your sleeping arrangements.
And you know my thoughts on those!
Self-help guru Wayne Dyer said “You are doomed to make choices. This is life’s greatest paradox.”
I suggest that a new paradox could be “I love my partner and am intimately close to them and have a great relationship. However, we don’t share the same bed every night.”
Could that be your new real-life paradox?
It’s mine and I can highly recommend it.