2nd Edition out February 2024
2nd Edition out February 2024
A Sleep Divorce: How to sleep apart, not fall apart
Couples sleeping together hasn't always been the norm. While there are many couples who enjoy sharing a space every night, there are just as many couples who love each other, but want to head to space of their own to make sure they get the sleep they need each night. Social expectations (and the media) have conditioned us to think that happy couples share a bed every night. But it's just not true.
From the British monarchy to British royalty David and Victoria Beckham, couples 'in the know' understand that you can have a great relationship and get a great night's sleep every night by re-writing the social norms. Whether it's separate beds or separate rooms, prioritising sleep for your mental, physical, and emotional health is so important.
A Sleep Divorce: How to sleep apart not fall apart will help couples navigate the (sometimes complex) process of how to sleep separately and maintain a happy, healthy relationship.
As featured in
Helping you and your partner 'divorce' where you sleep, not each other.
This book will save your relationship... and help you get a good night's sleep.
Why do couples sleep separately?
Delve into the varied reasons for couples sleeping apart.
In the media...
“When both parties are getting a restorative night’s sleep it allows them to feel emotionally, mentally and physically healthier without one resentful of their partner for keeping them awake, nor the other feeling guilty for disturbing his or her mate,” said Jennifer Adams. “That’s a good foundation on which to build and weather a relationship.”
This resentment can ultimately drive a couple to try sleeping in separate beds. But being fully upfront with your partner about what’s behind the decision is key, the experts say. “First and foremost, there needs to be a crystal clear understanding of why the trial is happening,” explains Jennifer Adams. “Is it because one person in the couple is having their sleep disturbed by the other person, from snoring, restless legs or device use? Or is it because environmental needs differ so much that it’s impacting on one person’s ability to sleep well, like room temperature, lighting or noise?”
The main British guru of sleep studies is Dr Neil Stanley, who doesn't share a bed with his own wife. He is evangelical about the subject of separate beds. His studies suggest that on average, couples suffered more than 50% more sleep disturbances if they shared a bed.
Dr Stanley, who set up one of Britain's leading sleep laboratories at the University of Surrey, said the people of today should consider doing the same. "It's about what makes you happy. If you've been sleeping together and you both sleep perfectly well, then don't change, but don't be afraid to do something different. "We all know what it's like to have a cuddle and then say 'I'm going to sleep now' and go to the opposite side of the bed. So why not just toddle off down the landing?"