You need to re-think who you are inviting on your show to give advice. While not super recent, this little video advice snippet has popped up again and pricked at my delicate heckles all over again.
Steve Harvey (for the uninitiated) is described by our friends at Wikipedia as an ‘American comedian, television host, radio personality, actor, and author’. I would like to add ‘narrow-minded chauvinist’ to his list of skills and talents. His personal history certainly doesn’t fill me with much confidence in his ability to dish out relationship advice, and I have to admit to feeling more than just a little sick in the stomach (not to mention patronised) by his take on online dating with the creation of a dating website to help ladies become ‘more dateable’.
I mean….. would you take dating advice from THIS man?
I think we can safely assume that Steve is a ‘man’s man’ (especially by those standout pics in the bottom left corner). And a VERY quick Google shows me I’m not alone in thinking this guy deserves having his ability to offer relationship advice questioned. I offer two other reflections on Mr Harvey:
So what has Super Steve done to warrant a post on my site??? Well, in a nutshell, Silly Steve essentially told a lady who phoned into Oprah’s Lifeclass Show (oh the irony) to discuss sleeping separately from her husband that he would have viable grounds on which to justify seeking sex elsewhere!
No!! I’m serious.
Here’s the informative segment.
Such enlightenment in 2014 – and that’s the bit that surprises me the most about Oprah sitting there and taking part in the attack on the poor wife (Michelle), who I am sure regrets ever making this call.
Smug Steve, here are some other options you might consider offering if you are given the chance to dish out advice on the topic in the future, rather than just telling the spouse who needs to sleep apart to just ‘stop ignoring any needs that you might have and give in to the needs of your spouse or you will suffer under some fairly serious emotional blackmail’. My other suggestions are:
- Seek the help of an independent relationship counsellor (who has more credentials than Sucky Steve) to facilitate a conversation about negotiation and compromise so both party’s needs are being met.
- Negotiate yourselves about some alternatives to each other’s desired outcome – maybe sharing a bed 4-5 nights a week, and sleeping separately on the other nights.
- Renegotiate the ‘rules’ of the shared bed – e.g., cuddling when you get in to bed, then no touching so you can BOTH sleep.
- Have a serious talk about the dynamics of your relationship by which one of you uses awful emotional blackmail to get their way!
Maybe I’ve missed the point and the whole things was a part of a comedy routine that Slapstick Steve was rehearsing for his next comedy tour.
Actually….. I’ll be that was it. Silly me. Don’t know why I got all bothered at all.
Who on earth thinks that a healthy functioning relationship can be OK when one partner threatens to have sex with other people because they can’t get their own way. It all makes sense now.
Ha, ha, ha, ha….. chortle, chortle.