It’s a no brainer


n. Informal
         Something so simple or easy as to require no thought.

That’s what sleeping separately is for some people – an activity/decision/ event/behaviour that requires a minimal amount of thought when deciding if it’s for them.

I have spoken with three couples recently who practice ‘sometimes separate sleeping’. Each couple spoke about sleeping apart for about 2-5 nights a week for the same singular purpose – so they can sleep.

Well that’s a no-brainer!!

Let me break it down to clarify why they think it’s a no-brainer.

  • They have trouble sleeping with each other
  • They want to feel rested and ready to function properly at their job the next day or to look after children
  • They go to separate beds so they can get the sleep they need

What? There’s no more I hear you ask?

No….. it’s a no-brainer!

In fact, the couples I spoke to describe it as a logical, sensible, rational, practical, commonsensical and pragmatic(le) decision, and one they are all so glad they have made. It’s part of their life and does not equate to how successful or happy their relationship is – it just keeps them sane and functioning.

Every individual eventually works out what keeps them sane. It’s probably an activitiy that they do alone, that gives them the time out they need to refocus and regroup. Without a level of calm and balance, life can become sub-optimal and who wants that?

Here is a random, hastily-prepared list of stuff that I can think of that people do to bring back the balance in their life. (I did look at a lot of websites that talked about inner peace, clearing the mind, letting go of ‘energy drainers’, aligning one’s chakras and things similar, and while there’s nothing wrong with lining those chakras up if it helps you get through the day – no judgement here – I tend to live a more practical life, so here’s what I think people do).

What I know is that people run, play team sports, become engrossed in a book (probably 50 Shades of Grey at the moment), play with children or pets, do craft or art, surf the web, do a sudoko or crossword, visit their friends, have a glass or 5 of wine, meditate, do yoga, go to the beach, go to the movies, lock themselves in their room, make a cake, clean the family silver, or………………………………………. fill in the space if your sanity activity hasn’t been listed – because there is no way I can list all the stuff people do to find some sanity when life runs on the hectic side.

So if there is an endless list of activities that help us humans get our grip back, why is spending the occasional night away from a loving, but possibly annoying partner who stops you from sleeping, any different?

Well, of course, I don’t think it is.

I think it’s a no-brainer.

So next time you are lying next to the person you love the most and they are snoring, thrashing, teeth grinding, reading, iPad-ing or stealing your sheets and blankets…. all I can say is that there is a


if you want it.

4 thoughts on “It’s a no brainer”

  1. Pingback: You need a WHOLE BOOK about sleeping separately? | Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart

  2. Pingback: Sleeping Separately….. an intelligent Trump card

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