I recently found myself among a group of about 30 people I hadn’t met before, but was a guest of, at a two-day conference. This conference was being held at a location where all attendees were away from home. Attending pre-dinner drinks on the second night in the room of one of the delegates, talk turned to the benefits of having a bed away from partners.
(Insert smiley, smug, knowing emoticon here – haven’t found one yet)
What to do? Start proselytising on the spiritual revolution of separate sleeping?
Of course not. It’s not my style. I’m more of a one-on-one girl.
What I did start doing though, was thinking about the unspoken contract we sign up to when we ‘partner’ with someone…. and then move in…. and then just hop into a shared-bed arrangement. No questions asked.
If we were to record the traditional marriage vows and then play them back in reverse, would we hear:
“I swear I will sleep in the same bed as you every night, irrespective of any potential damage to my health, and to the health of our relationship”
Because, I think that’s what some people believe is the deal.
As always, I say there’s nothing AT ALL wrong when you snuggle in blissful slumber with your loved one. I just say there’s something wrong when the snuggling turns to SUFFERING when you can’t sleep.
When we did we start making this unspoken promise that bed sharing was a non-negotiable part of the deal. I had a fairly low-key, non-traditional marriage, but none of the really formal ones I went to had “I promise to love, cherish, obey and sleep in the same bed every night” as part of the ceremony.
Social conformity is POWERFUL folks.
So….. I am saying “give sleep a chance”.
I SO wanted to say to that room of people:
“you don’t have to share a bed every night to be a good husband/wife/partner”
I SO wanted to say to that room of people:
“sleep apart sometimes, or always, and be so well rested that YOU will be the best person you can be”.
Maybe the next time I am there. But probably not.
Giving SLEEP A CHANCE is a personal and singular decision. No-one’s gonna make you do it.
BUT IT’S A REVOLUTION WORTH JOINING!!
All we are saying… is give sleep a chance…
I’m sure it’s what John Lennon meant to sing….