All we are saying… is give sleep a chance… (all together now)

I recently found myself among a group of about 30 people I hadn’t met before, but was a guest of, at a two-day conference. This conference was being held at a location where all attendees were away from home. Attending pre-dinner drinks on the second night in the room of one of the delegates, talk turned to the benefits of having a bed away from partners.

(Insert smiley, smug, knowing emoticon here – haven’t found one yet)

What to do? Start proselytising on the spiritual revolution of separate sleeping?

Of course not. It’s not my style. I’m more of a one-on-one girl.

What I did start doing though, was thinking about the unspoken contract we sign up to when we ‘partner’ with someone…. and then move in…. and then just hop into a shared-bed arrangement. No questions asked.

If we were to record the traditional marriage vows and then play them back in reverse, would we hear:

“I swear I will sleep in the same bed as you every night, irrespective of any potential damage to my health, and to the health of our relationship”

Because, I think that’s what some people believe is the deal.

As always, I say there’s nothing AT ALL wrong when you snuggle in blissful slumber with your loved one. I just say there’s something wrong when the snuggling turns to SUFFERING when you can’t sleep.

When we did we start making this unspoken promise that bed sharing was a non-negotiable part of the deal. I had a fairly low-key, non-traditional marriage, but none of the really formal ones I went to had “I promise to love, cherish, obey and sleep in the same bed every night” as part of the ceremony.

Social conformity is POWERFUL folks.

So….. I am saying “give sleep a chance”.

I SO wanted to say to that room of people:

“you don’t have to share a bed every night to be a good husband/wife/partner”

I SO wanted to say to that room of people:

“sleep apart sometimes, or always, and be so well rested that YOU will be the best person you can be”.

Maybe the next time I am there. But probably not.

Giving SLEEP A CHANCE is a personal and singular decision. No-one’s gonna make you do it.


All we are saying… is give sleep a chance…

I’m sure it’s what John Lennon meant to sing….


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