My husband and I lasted a week in a bed together when he first moved into my house and we had to face the fact that as much as we loved each other, we just couldn't share a bed.
Eighteen years later, we are still very happily married and very happily sleeping in our own bedrooms every night. And I know that there are thousands of couples out there in the same situation because I spoke to many of them as I wrote my book.
Unfortunately, not everyone feels confident to stand up and say "I sleep separately and it's OK" because they feel they will be judged negatively.
As a dedicated and happy separate sleeper, I am on a crusade to start two conversations.
The first is the conversation between you and your partner about what your needs are when it comes to sleep. Is your favourite person to sleep with yourself? And if so, how can you tell your partner this news while re-assuring them there is nothing wrong with your relationship?
The second is the conversation with you and the rest of the world that sleeping separately is OK. How can you let everyone know that there is nothing wrong with your relationship just because you want to sleep in your own bed every night, or even just some nights?
I have written a book about how you can have these conversations called:
Sleeping Apart, Not Falling Apart:
How to get a good night's sleep and keep your relationship alive!
The book was originally published by Finch Publishing Australia in 2013. Finch closed their doors in 2018 but the book can be purchased on this site and on Amazon Australia.
I love talking to people who are proud separate sleepers, or those who haven't mustered up the courage yet to share it with friends, family or the world.
If you would like to share your stories, thoughts or concerns with me my email address is:
or you can contact me on the 'Contact me' page.
Otherwise, enjoy the website, and I hope you find either some inspiration or some comfort in reading about someone who shares your sleeping pursuits.